As I boarded the train from KL Sentral to Sri Rampai after a four-day pre-departure program for future medical slaves, I remembered the day I registered at Kolej Rahim Kajai, UKM more than four years ago. And as I ventured further into my memory, I remembered the day I showed to my mother the GMN brochure I got from the Edu Fair my friends and I went to. It was a blur, but the significant processes were permanently jotted down in my brain.
And until this day, I'm still not sure whether my decision back then were rock solid, or pudding bouncy, whatever that means anyway.
I am at the beginning of my fifth year medical school and with Allah as my bear witness I have lots and lots to do before I can become a competent enough doctor. Looking back to those four short years I have went through, it's very hard to believe that I am in the verge of graduation, because honestly if I am to be put in a hospital, I would have kill every patient I touch. Yes, I am a little bit pessimistic when it comes to my future.
Those four years were full of vague teachers in semi-solid appearance. I would not say that I have went through hell, but if anything is to be put in comparison with eternal damnation, the medical school is a perfect candidate.
The books that I had to cover.
The smell of ammonia that had seeped into my brain.
The medical knowledge that I had memorized, and forgotten, and memorized for the hundredth of time.
The unstable days as exam was just around the corner when whatever I do, I can't process whatever I read.
The hollow feeling when I have no one to count on as I crashed down the road of uncertainty.
The friends I made and lost, caused by the silliest of reasons to the worst.
The clingy feeling that made me want to just run away because sometimes my best is just not enough.
The mortal challenges that everyone went through, but somehow it becomes such a big deal for me.
The insecurity that dragged me down as I made mistakes and mistakes, over and over again.
Sure, one would say that I am too hard on myself. Because somehow, I have made it, although barely, to my fifth year. So that means I must have done something right, yes? Please approve. Dear God, come to think of it, it's a miracle that I have gone this far. These pains I have went through have become my best teachers.
I learned to take things easy, but fight like a lioness protecting her cubs.
I learned to let things go, and to put my trust in Allah's greater plan.
I learned to keep myself sane as every single thing around me is collapsing.
I learned to prioritize my concerns, my goals, my every day life.
And most important of all, I learned to become a better human being, a better muslim, a better person.
And that's how Egypt has changed me. To see these kids going to embark on this painful, but remarkable journey that was once my journey, I wish them all the best. The formula of life is not as hard to portray, it's basically the same thing all over again. The only difference is the pace. Some of us is faster or slower than others. In the end, we will end up with generally the same lessons, the same experience.
They will go through the same mind-blowing scenes of life that is greeted with the usual 'WTFrick' in the first encounter that will become the stepping stone for them to understand things beyond our comfortable heaven we all called home. They will meet people that will change the way they view the world permanently. They will end up in a situation where their mind can't possibly comprehend the stupidity/illogical/jack-assery of a certain group of people.
Brace yourself, it's gonna be one hell of a bumpy ride. Will you survive Egypt? Many have failed, but don't worry, unlike them, we will be there to guide you through.