This is me in so many ways. I have lots in my mind, but I can't express them with words, being it through speaking or in words. So that is why I have trouble jotting down something for this blog. I love writing, no doubt about that. I've read somewhere on Facebook, someone claimed that words are incapable of expressing real emotions. Well there goes thousands of years worth of poetry, stories, music and religious books (read: Quran) flushed down the toilet.
Just because you are incapable of understanding it, doesn't mean that you can belittle it. Douche.
Yesterday's essay exam was awful. My mind kept wandering off to restricted areas, I can barely focus. I have done a lot of things, some I am not proud of, but never before something has bugged me this bad. Is it my fault to stand proud with my belief and putting my foot down?
I have heard multiple stories where my friends, close and acquintances have lost their sense of living as a single man. They are bachelors, but they acted as if they are married. I have sworn to myself that I will not be that kind of person. It is not wrong to love, it is human nature. Just like you should not enter a restricted area, you just have to know your limits. But I forgot that my principles involved other people. I have to bend my ground, and make room for others to sit beside me but at the same time, never to abandon my rights.
Maybe, I am not ready for this. So what should I do? Yes I am new at this things which is why I should look forward and learn from them. Maybe things would not be as bad if I just have that one guy to talk with. Oh how I missed him, I really missed him a lot but we have gone our seperate ways, we are no longer good friends, we are barely friends as it is.
I did what I did because of love. My love for You, and You, and my love for Allah. I just hope they would understand.
The best decision, Allah guide me please I just want to be happy. Allah yusahhil.
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