28 September 2010

Penyakit hati

Penyakit hati.
Nak ubat sendiri, tak mampu.
Nak minta tolong sahabat, malu.

Nak doa pada Tuhan, tak cukup sedap.
Usaha dari diri sendiri pun kena mantap.

Nak ubat sendiri, tak reti.
Nak minta orang lain ajar, ego tinggi.

Muhasabah tak ada,
Usaha ala kadar saja,
Hah duduk lah macam tu sampai bila-bila.

p/s: Nak berubah kena minta dekat Allah supaya diri mahu berubah.

23 September 2010

Felix Felicis

Salam people.

Over the past few months life has been more or less perfect. Summer 2010 was such a bad-ass compared to 2009! Apart from the usual childish frustrations I have had over the summer, you could say I live my life problem-free. Now, in Harry Potter 6's book there was a potion called Felix Felicis which turns out to be luck in the form of liquid. One who takes a single drop of it will have a perfect day to enjoy, Yes, it's crap but it's Harry Potter.

It must be used sparingly, however, because if taken in excess it causes giddiness, recklessness, and dangerous overconfidence.

I would say that for the past few months life has been too much of a Felix Felicis to me. I have been reckless and overconfident. I overlook the small matters, I ignore the fact that I'm human and I could make mistakes (and God willing may it be a small one!) So after months of being carefree, the effects finally were kicking in, or maybe there had been signs all over the place that I turned a blind eye to. I forgot to pray. I forgot to feel helpless. I forgot that God is where I should turn to if anything happens.

I feel that I don't need anybody to survive. Okay,. exaggeration much but the point is I feel that I am capable to live by my own rules, which is utter bullshit because billions of organisms beside myself means billions of rules.

So then God sent me a sign. A wake-up call that punctured the empty void that has been filling me since the past few months. He was sending me a message that says, 'Who do you think you are to forget Me who gives you everything you own?'

 The sign. Aish!

Forgive me, Allah.. Aku tak mahu hilang rasa kebergantungan kepada-Mu.

13 September 2010


Salam people.

Sometimes I thought, is it wrong to question my own religion, of why certain matters are set in certain ways? At first certainly it brings no harm, if the needed conclusion is made at the end. Yet what if there is no absolute conclusion to begin with? Or what if the inadequate knowledge that I possess renders me away from the truth instead?

Is this a bad habit by the way, to question every single detail? Of course, to some point it's gonna be effing annoying, yes, but I do think it is uttermost important to understand the 'why' before the 'how'.

Clearly, I need a mu'allim. Someone that really has all the answers. I cannot afford to make mistakes anymore, not at this stage of life. By the way, I really missed them, the 'family'. Malaysia has been too empty.

Have been doing some reading on the internet, and the same old confusions came rushing back to infest my head. It will take months to rearrange my thoughts accordingly again. They say behind great men lies a woman. A simple phrase that contains the wisdom to end years of misunderstandings. A word from the wise,
'Play fair, and you shall triumph with respect.'

p/s : 17 days left for Malaysia. :)

08 September 2010

Selamat Hari Raya

Salam people.

Raya falls on Friday of September 10th this year. To me, Raya means :
  1. Dah tak wajib puasa di siang hari, melainkan kena ganti.
  2. Dah tak perlu solat tarawikh.
  3. Kuih raya, rendang, ketupat, lemang, duit raya dan segala isinya according to the Malay custom.
  4. Last chance to be in Malaysia, exactly three weeks in fact.
  5. A continuous battle not to have an All-You-Can-Eat buffet three times a day.
  6. Takbir raya.
  7. A real test field to find out whether the whole month of dedication to ibadah has any effect to one self at all.
  8. Weddings. Not mine, obviously. Friends's.

You may have different meaning of raya, but those were basically what came to my mind when we're talking about the auspicious day. I would love to wish Selamat Hari Raya Eid ul-Fitri to Family, Extended families, Housemates, coursemates, Kisasians who still consider me as a friend, long-lost Keramat friends (may we still be friends after years not talking to each other), Seniors, Juniors, Neighbours, Professors, Teachers and all Muslims around the world in general.

Ampun Maaf zahir dan batin. May this joyous celebration brings us closer together, and may we meet again with the next Ramadhan. Don't forget to takbir and tahmid!

p/s : Currently am hoping for someone who could show me in which part of the Quran or Hadith that says Syawal is anywhere remotely holier than January.

03 September 2010

The story of an Indian woman on a train

Salam people.

To travel across Kuala Lumpur  with the PUTRA Kelana Jaya line was a memorable experience indeed, especially this was the first time I traveled this late. I was really looking forward for the journey, to see what KL is all about when the day is at its end. First of all, kudos orang-orang Wangsa Maju and sekitarnya, you've won the award of 'Penduduk paling kerap menggunakan PUTRA Kelana Jaya line'. I thought the couches would be empty, but oh how I was so wrong.

It is amazing to see different kinds of people in one place. I had several black people on my right chatting excitingly on my left, and a couple of Indian women had a conversation about camera phones in Tamil (I think so, sebab dia cakap camera phone, memory card).

And it was disheartening to see Muslim couples holding each other, dressing inappropriately during the holy month of Ramadhan. Basic common sense kot. At least respect God during the holy month, if you're not doing it in any other month of the year.

But the best of the night was all about this one particular Indian woman boarding the train a few stations after I did. You see, I was wearing kopiah and baju melayu, just to see how people would react on me. And yes, people have a second glance on me, unlike when I was wearing t-shirt in the morning.

Back to the Indian woman. The seat next to me was empty so as she entered the train, she immediately ran to the vacant seat, that until she saw me. The seat was nearest to the door, but she chose to sit at another place. Maybe I am scary-looking, I don't know.

Then there's this crippled guy with a cane boarded the train some time later, and unfortunately the train was becoming very crowded at the time. So she (the Indian woman), after seeing the guy immediately stood up and offered her seat, and mind you, she was sitting very far inside, it is more practical for me to give him my seat, as to what I did (yay me :D). The guy ended up sitting on my seat. None of the others vacated his or her seat, even though they were sitting nearer to the door. And for that I would like to say congratulations Madam, you've proven yourself to be a very considerate human being.

Then she tried to make small talks with this Malay woman, which sad enough tried to ignore her, and give her (the Indian) an annoyed glance now and then. Dear miss, I know you're tired, but I don't think you're that tired to not answer simple questions such as 'Dah beli baju raya ke belum?' The least you could do is SMILE, you're capable to do so with your friend (which I don't know if she's a real woman or not, if you get my drift :P) This wasn't the first I saw this happening.

Mana ye Melayu berbudi bahasa yang selalu kita canang-canangkan.

By the way, enjoy. :)

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